Monday, May 27, 2013

Long overdue, Looking back, Looking ahead

I may have set the record for tardiest blogger ever... For all of those who have been faithfully following, checking, and waiting for news - I apologize! I have many excuses (some legitimate, some less so...) for my over three months of "radio silence," but I won't bother you with those here. Rather, I would love it if you would take some time to read through my reflections, my words of thanksgiving, and my increasingly nostalgic thoughts as my STINT year here in Montpellier draws to a close. Thanks for your patience as I process through a lot of this stuff...

One thing I'm extremely thankful for, looking back over this year, is for all the ways that God has provided for me. I am still amazed and occasionally speechless when I think about how God provided for me to be here with the financial and prayer support of so many - how He put together a support team for me that has come alongside me in incredible ways to help me and to help make ministry possible. God has also provided community, friendship, support, learning, encouragement, and family in my teammates here in Montpellier. I am so grateful for each and every girl on my team, and I know that God knew exactly what He was doing when He put us together. We complement each other perfectly, and each of us was essential this year for the work He had planned for us. God also provided an apartment for us to live in - no easy task! After several weeks of sleeping on Amy and Caroline's floor, I was beginning to get frustrated and wonder what God was doing. In the end, as usual, He knew exactly what He was doing. We found an apartment that is perfect for all of our needs, great for hosting people, and ideally located. He also blessed us abundantly with the real estate agent who manages our apartment, Emmanuel. Emmanuel (God is with us! What a great reminder!) has been extraordinarily helpful, patient, and available whenever we have needed him. In addition, God has provided many rich, beautiful friendships for me this year with many Christian Agape students and other non-Christian friends. Beyond friendships with students, He has blessed us in our relationships with our "people of peace" - individuals who are not associated with Agape or with a church, who may not even be believers, who bless us by helping us out in different areas. When I think about "people of peace," my mind goes straight to our favorite bartenders at Fitzpatrick's Irish Pub and the wait staff at Le Ranch. Fitzpatrick's is the pub where we have English club each Monday night, and the staff there has always been extremely kind and friendly with us, allowing us to use their space. We have been able to develop great relationships with them, and I enjoy our interactions each week. Le Ranch is a restaurant near one of the main university campuses that allows us to host our discussion nights there every other Thursday. The staff reserves a section of seating for us, despite the fact that we are often loud and few people actually order anything to eat or drink. They are very friendly as well, and being able to meet in that location is a huge blessing. God has also provided for me with two (TWO!) thriving church communities where I can worship, be welcomed and cared for, learn, pray, and connect with Him. Finally, God has blessed me by providing numerous ways and opportunities for me to connect with friends, family, and supporters at home. Feeling connected despite being so far away is something that I really need, and God has richly provided for that.

Coming out of this very rich, intense, and challenging year I am also extremely thankful for all the ways God has helped me to grow. I have grown in my relationship with the Lord, learning how to depend on Him and trust Him in new and deeper ways. I have grown in my knowledge of His Word through personal and collective study. I have also grown in prayer through our focused times of prayer as a team throughout this year. I have grown enormously in the areas of initiative evangelism (walking up to someone and striking up a spiritual conversation with them), and relational evangelism (sharing the Gospel in the context of friendship). I have gotten more comfortable sharing the Gospel and having spiritual conversations with students (and in French!). I have also learned how to listen carefully - both to the person I am speaking with and to the promptings of the Spirit. I have learned more about asking thoughtful and thought-provoking questions, and about how to build relationships with new friends.

Throughout this year, I have seen God do many miraculous, amazing things. Probably the most awesome has been the ways I have seen Him working to grow Agape here in Montpellier and across France through new believers like Alice who came to faith in November, and through Christian students getting more involved in ministry. This year, we had many students step up and give of their time and energy to serve on different leadership teams. We have also seen more students committing (and recommitting) to internships with Agape - trusting God to help them raise support and giving a year of their lives to do ministry with their peers. In Montpellier alone we have Julien who has recommitted himself to do a second year of internship, Joelle moving from working part-time with us to doing an internship, and Christian doing his first year of internship. Please pray for each of these dear friends of mine - Julien as he raises support again and gets ready to move to Toulouse for his next year of life and ministry, Joelle as she moves to full-time ministry and begins raising more support, and Christian as he gets ready to beginning raising support for the first time, moving to Rennes, and doing all of this in the context of extreme hostility and persecution from his non-Christian family.

This year has also been very challenging and occasionally difficult for me. The most difficult thing about this year has been continuing to hold out hope for our friends and for the students we meet on campus; continuing to share the Gospel, take relational risks and pray with hope, trusting that God is working and thus our work is not in vain even when we don't see much visible fruit; persevering in hope and belief that God will save our friends. In the midst of this, I know that God has continued to encourage us in many diverse ways. I am sure of it because without Him renewing us and encouraging us daily to keep praying, believing, and hoping, we would have despaired and given up long ago. He has continued to use us in each others' lives to point one another to the truth of His promises and to remind us of His presence with us.

I have been disappointed this year as well, especially as I near the end of my time here, that God hasn't worked the way I hoped or expected He would in the lives of my friends. I am disappointed that more people haven't come to know and trust Jesus as their Savior this year, particularly as we have made salvation and revival here in France a specific focus of prayer this semester. And yet, despite my disappointment, I know that God is working, that His timing is perfect, and that He is calling me to trust Him in this as well. He wants me to continue trusting Him with more and more of myself, and He also want me to trust Him with the lives and eternities of the people here who have become so dear to me. After all, He loves them even more than I do! He has a good plan for their lives as well as for mine, and I am not responsible for their salvation - He is.

Along with spending some time looking back over this year, I have also been spending a lot of time thinking about what God has for me next - looking ahead. Looking ahead to this summer - to homecomings, reunions, reconnecting with family, friends, and supporters, and enjoying American food and culture after time away. I have been thinking about raising support again, stepping out in faith to ask for prayer and financial support and trusting God to once again provide for all my needs. Looking ahead to next year - to moving back to Montpellier, adjusting to a new team and new roommates, and beginning a new year of ministry. There is still so much I want to learn, and so much am I asking God for in this next year. I have already seen God working to change the atheist, humanist, naturalist culture among students and have personally experienced shifts in their thought patterns and beliefs. I pray that God would continue to transform how they think and what they believe, that this this city and this country would experience radical change, awakening, and revival. I pray that people would begin to really hunger for truth, to hunger for God, and that He would bring many to salvation. I pray that those people would turn around and reach their friends, family, peers, colleagues, and neighbors. I pray that God's Kingdom in France would advance, that more and more people would be able to hear the good news of Christ's death to pay for their sins and resurrection to bring them new life, freedom, and restored relationship with God. I am holding out hope for dear friends like Adam, Julie, Mathilde, P.J., Israel, Marion, Elena, Ben, and others. I am praying that God will save them, and trusting that He will do it.

I don't know exactly what God has in store for me this summer, or this next year, but I am really excited. Thank you for your patience with me and my lack of communication, for your prayers and support, and for all your encouragement and kind words. God has used you to bless me in innumerable ways, and I am grateful. Please pray for me as I finish up the year and transition home. Pray that God will help me strike a balance between joy and thankfulness for this year and the adventures to come, and grieving well as this chapter comes to an end. Que Dieu vous benisse! (God bless you!)

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